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Great text message jokes

It is not often that an adult will receive a funny text message that isn’t dirty. We’ve all done it, we send each other leprechauns around St. Patrick’s Day with a quirky little message. For Valentine’s Day it may be a naked little Cupid with his bow and arrow and some cute little words. What these have in common, however, is that they are usually very funny. Most people love receiving these types of messages. Women, especially love the ones sent to them of a half-naked man. Some messages are just plain silly, but funny nonetheless. Here are a few funny, silly, and just downright ridiculous text messages.

The political jokes

Here’s one that actually makes a lot of sense; “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” Of course there are millions more of these and most of them are not fit for a site like helium.

The bar joke

A gorilla wanted some adventure and ventured into a bar. He ordered a cold beer. The bartender gave it to him and said “that’ll be $25.” After some minutes, initiating conversation, the bartender asked – “Lately there have not been many gorillas round these parts.” The gorilla retorted, “At these prices, you won’t get many more, either!”

The funny

“Three guys decide to go hunting. While they were out in the woods they got lost. One of the men suggested that if they fire off a shot, someone will hear it and come rescue them. So the first man fired off a shot. The men waited for a while and no one came to rescue them. Perplexed the guys decide to send off a second shot. After another hour or so the men were still lost, and had little hope of being found. The third guys suggested that he send off another shot, just in case. The first Hunter replies, well it better work this time because we’re down to our last arrow.” That one is in knee slapper. This would be a favorite except it’s pretty long to type. So it’s unlikely that this one will go around from friend to friend you.

The unexpected

People send the most text messages during holidays, and Christmas is certainly no exception to the rule. The best text messages can be found around the holiday season. A few years ago there was one that went around, that cost a little bit of confusion. You see, you send your friend a black screen as the picture. A company that picture with this declaration; “I went to see the Amish Christmas lights last night”. Do you get it? Amish Christmas lights don’t exist because they don’t use electricity! That one will make someone howl with laughter.

The strange

“One kid says to his friend my uncle has a wooden leg. The other kid retorts, oh that is nothing my mom has a Cedar chest”. Okay that one may not be all that funny, but it is cute.

There are a ton more that could be listed in this article, but they are dirty or… Politically incorrect, so they will not be suited for helium. One of the best thing about text messages is there are no knock knock jokes. Those should be reserved for children who are just learning how to tell and understand jokes (along with the chicken crosses the road jokes). The beauty of it is that you can share your wit with your friends and they can share theirs with you. It’s kind of of Battle of the brains in texting. Everybody wants to be the first person to send out the best joke. Have fun

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